The Burn Journals by Brent Runyon

I know that darkness is the absence of light, but where does the light go when it's not here? And how do you know if it'll ever come back?

Picked up this volume in the Non-Fiction shelf in the YA section at my library. It seemed interesting and I really enjoy interesting memoirs, so I figured I'd give this one a shot.

Let me just go ahead and inform you: as soon as I finished, I found The Burn Journals on the Book Depository and bought it immediately. That's how much I enjoyed this book.

When he was fourteen years-old, Brent Runyon got in trouble at school for accidentally setting something on fire. When he got home from school, he went to his bathroom, doused his bathroom in gasoline, and set himself on fire. Brent survived his suicide attempt, but not without burning 85% of his body and spending over nine months in the hospital.

In The Burn Journals, Brent Runyon gives us a first-hand account of his healing process. The reader receives the chance to take a look inside his head as he comes to terms with what he's done and begins to realize his own warped way of seeing things. Runyon brings the reader in, giving us fascinating insight into the mind of a depressed fourteen year-old boy who only wanted to be happy.

If I could describe this memoir in one word, that word would be "fascinating." I cannot tell you how deeply enthralled I was with this book. I really did enjoy getting to see inside the mind of Brent Runyon at such a vulnerable time and, though I'm sure it was hard for him, I couldn't be more thankful to him for writing it.

The Burn Journals is an important book for many reasons. I'm honestly quite sad that I hadn't heard of it before now. I think it addresses a deeply important issue and a prominent mental illness that too often goes right under the radar. Nearly everyone I know, including myself, has undergone some type of battle with depression and it seems like everyone is scared to address that. However, Runyon handles it with a finesse that I cannot praise enough.

One of my favorite things about the way he handles it is the fact that the reader gets to see exactly what was going on behind the closed doors of his mind through various stages of his struggle. It is absolutely insane how well the reader can see the various little bits that show just how warped his thinking was, and yet it is warped in a way that it's clear he thinks is normal and you can absolutely understand how he would think that.

All in all, it was a fabulous book and one I'll be suggesting frequently to as many people as I can manage from now on!

Rating: ~★★★★★~

I'm standing in the closet with my head in the shirts. I can't stop crying. I can't stop.
"You're asking me all the wrong questions." Why don't they love me? Why don't they take care of me? Why don't they act like I'm their son? The tears are all over my face and I can taste them in my mouth, like salt water, but I can't stop crying. I can't stop crying. I can't believe how little they know me.